Imagine one of your ordinary days in which you go out in the morning to go to work or the university or anywhere else. You attend some gatherings. You see men and women around you interacting and greeting on different occasions and in various manners, more frequently shaking hands.
You are a member of this community too, and you also used to greet different people with whom you had interactions every day and perhaps it was not important for you if the person you shake hands with is a man or a woman. But now, as a Muslim, you must know that shaking hands in Islam with the opposite gender is forbidden. If this has raised a question in your mind, we will be discussing the issue here.
As a scientific fact, everything we do, or we say, or any other kind of action we perform via every part of our body from legs up to the eyes, or even any thought passing into our minds has energy in itself. Once we bring something into existence, such as an utterance or an action, hence its specific kind of energy, it will never go to an end; but it is transformed and transferred to different targets, leaving its influence on them and first on ourselves.
Thus in our interactions, we are producing some kind of energy. So when people from the opposite genders confront each other and shake hands or kiss or hug each other, as a kind of greeting, what kind of energy is being interchanged between them?
God has put some kind of desire in human’s nature by which the opposite sexes are attracted to each other. When women and men who are non-Mahrams, greet each other in any way involving touching their bodies or looking at one another in such a way that arises this desire, they will be leaving a negative effect on each other; although it may feel pleasant.
Once this instinct is provoked, to satisfy their sensual needs, people may go further in their relationships and may be driven into immoral and sinful acts. The final result would be regret, distrust among people and broken families and other mental and physical consequences. Because in Islam’s viewpoint, sensual desires must only be satisfied among spouses. Due to this and some other reasons we might not know, God has set some rules regarding the quality of relationships between women and men. Following these rules will make concepts like marriage and family meaningful.
One might say that we do not have any bad intentions in our relationships with those who are considered non-Mahram for us. We can control our desires when confronting them and nothing sinful happens. But the prophet Mohammad (PBUH) and his family who were the purest ones of all time obeyed these rules too.
They avoided any kind of interaction with non-Mahrams that are considered to be Haram.
When people came to the prophet for Bay’ah (to swear allegiance), he shook hands with men, and for women, a container of water was brought in which the prophet put his hand and took his hand out and then women put their hands in the water to make their pledge [2].
A Muslim is only allowed to touch the body of those of the same gender and those of the opposite gender who are Mahram for him/her.
A man can only look at the face and hands of a non-mahram woman if they do not have decorations and on the condition that it is not for pleasure [i].
In the Quran, we read: “Say to the believers, that they cast down their eyes and guard their private parts… And say to the believing women, that they cast down their eyes and guard their private parts, and reveal not their adornment, save such as is outward…” (24:30-31). Non-Mahrams must be careful with their speaking, too. In another part of Quran, we read: “…be not abject in your speech, so that he in whose heart is sickness may be lustful, but speak honorable words.” (33:32). In these verses of the Holy Quran, the danger of arousing sexual desires through speaking and looking has been warned. However, there are no limits to touching, looking, and talking between spouses.
And some exceptions may occur. For example, if a doctor of the same gender is not available, one can go to a doctor from the opposite gender and touching and looking is permitted in this case. But only in case of necessity and as much as needed.
Most probably it will be hard for you to find an excuse to refuse to shake hands with non-mahrams especially those with whom you had usual interactions before. Because in your society this may result in a misunderstanding about your attitude toward people.
When a non-mahram wants to shake a hand with you, if you politely say that due to religious matters you can't shake hands but you are pleased to meet them, in most cases, they will accept it from you without being offended. This would be better rather than falsely mentioning illness and other things. But if you explained your reason honestly and someone reacted badly, you do not need to bother yourself convincing that person.
To conclude, shaking hands, kissing, hugging, and every other kind of greeting and interaction between non-Mahrams which involves touching and also looking at each other on purpose, and talking with each other in a tempting manner are Haram in Islam.
Notes:
[i] Refer to the article “The Islamic etiquette of looking” for more information.References:
- shakin hands in islam
- Mohammad ibn Jarir Tabari, “Tarikh-e Tabari,” vol.3, p.61-62.
One of the aims of sending Prophets (PBUT), including Prophet Muhammad (PBUH & HP) , was to recite to faithful people the signs of Allah Almighty, to purify them and to teach them the Book and wisdom (3:164). Therefore, the Quran considers Prophet Muhammad (PBUH & HP) as an excellent exemplar for the believers (33:21). It means that all his deeds and behaviors at the individual, social, political, and cultural levels and even with other nations of that era, are instructive and he (PBUH & HP) is a perfect role model to be followed. Besides, he (PBUH & HP) was sent as a mercy to all the nations (21:107), both Muslims and non-Muslims. Hence, his approach in spreading peace and concordance in the world can be an excellent model to be followed. Here, we review how Prophet Muhammad (PBUH & HP) acted in this regard.
Prophet Muhammad’s (PBUH & HP) Sunnah did not ignore other nations and their internal independence at all. On the contrary, Islam is a worldwide religion that has recognized other tribes and nations, whether inside or outside of the Islamic state’s territory. Clear evidence for that are the treaties that have been made between the Islamic state and different nations or tribes during the time of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH & HP). In the pre-Islamic Arab era, fighting other tribes, killing, and bloodshed was a culture. But, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH & HP) made various treaties and emphasized on adhering to them to demonstrate how the tension between parties can be peacefully reduced and fighting back is the option only when invaded. The Islamic state was always faithful to the peace treaties as far as other parties were so.
As an example, as soon as Prophet Muhammad (PBUH & HP) arrived at Medina, he drew up a covenant among those who had emigrated with him from Mecca (Muhajirin) and the Jewish tribes of Medina including Aws and Khazraj (who were known later as Ansar (i.e. helpers, since they helped Muhajirin). This covenant was called the Constitution of Medina. This constitution aimed to guarantee the security and coexistence of various groups who lived in Medina and formed the basis of a multi-religious Islamic state. Some of its articles were:
• Muslims and Jews constitute “one nation” (Ummah Wahidah). Muslims are on their religion, so are Jews;
• Muslims and Jews are gracious to each other;
• The Jews adhered to this constitution should be protected and helped. No oppression upon them. No alliance with their enemies;
• Each party of this constitution should be allied with the other in case one of them is invaded;
• Both parties should ally whenever Medina is invaded;
• Both parties should take part in the expenses in case of a war. Muslims should pay their expenses, so do the Jews [1].
At the time of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH & HP), Mecca was under the control of one of the most significant Arabian tribes called Quraysh, who were polytheists. They had forbidden Muslims to enter the city and perform Hajj rituals. After Prophet (PBUH & HP) had dreamed entering Mecca doing Hajj rituals with companions, this Ayah confirmed his (PBUH & HP) dream: “Certainly Allah has fulfilled His Apostle’s vision in all truth: You will surely enter the Sacred Mosque, God willing, in safety, with your heads shaven or hair cropped, without any fear.” (48:27). Hence, The Prophet (PBUH & HP) and a group of Muslims with some other Arabs of around Medina, marched peacefully towards Mecca without arms, in the hope of making a pilgrimage. At first, Quraysh prevented them from entering Mecca. Still, after some negotiations, a treaty called the Treaty of Hudaybiyyah was drawn up between the two parties, which helped to decrease the tension between them.
This treaty guaranteed a 10-year peace between Quraysh and Muslims and authorized Muslims to return to Mecca in the following year to perform a peaceful pilgrimage [1].
References:
- M. A. Amini, “The principle of peaceful coexistence with non-Muslims in Islam,” Ma’rifat Journal, no. 165, p. 35-52.
This world is a bridge, pass it and don't get attached.
Sheikh al-Mufid, Al-Amali, p.43.
Everyone is after the reward [that comes at the end], and no one will get it except through hard work.
Mizan al-Hikma, hadith no. 22083.
Good for the ones who pray at the heart of the night; those are the ones who will inherit a lasting light.
Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.510.
A tree is perfected only through giving fruit, as faithfulness is only accomplished through avoiding what is forbidden (Haram).
Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.511.
Be careful about what you are looking at since the mere act of looking [at something inappropriate] will put the seed of desire in your heart, which would later turn into a disaster.
Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.502.
Good for the ones who make amends among people; those are the most cherished on the Day of Judgement.
Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.501.
O' servants of the world! You are like a lamp that gives light to people and burns itself instead.
Tuhaf al-Uqul, Hadith no.500324.
As you present modesty and humbleness among people in public, be modest and humble with regard to God in private.
Tuhaf al-Uqul, Hadith no.500325.
Verily, planting is only possible on arable land, not a barren one. Similarly, wisdom only grows in a humble and ready heart, not an arrogant and prejudiced one.
Tuhaf al-Uqul, Hadith no.500332.
Everyone looks upon the stars, but none finds his/her way using them, except the one who knows their places and how they work. Similarly, you will learn wisdom, but only the one who practices wisdom will be guided.
Tuhaf al-Uqul, Hadith no.500336.
Any offensive and inappropriate word that you say today will be responded later on the Day of Judgement.
Tuhaf al-Uqul, Hadith no.500341.
Water puts the fire out, just as patience calms anger down.
Tuhaf al-Uqul, Hadith no.500347.
Water and soil are the determining factors for a good harvest, just as knowledge and manner are the keys to perfect faith.
Tuhaf al-Uqul, Hadith no.500350.
The one who is only after this world is like a person drinking seawater; the more he drinks, the more he gets thirsty and finally will bring him death.
Warram b. Abi Firas al-Hilli, Tanbih al-khawatir wa nuzhat al-nawazir, vol.1, p.149.
Jesus Christ (PBUH) said to the apostles: "As much as you get tired in this world, you will rest in the other world, and as much as you rest in this world, you'll get exhausted on the world that is to come."
Ismaiil Jawuhari Farabi, Al-Sahah, vol.1, p.225.
Beware that the root of all evil lies in loving this world extremely.
Warram b. Abi Firas al-Hilli, Tanbih al-khawatir wa nuzhat al-nawazir, vol.1, p.129.
Loving this world and striving for the other world cannot come together in a believer's heart, as water and fire cannot be put together on a plate.
Warram b. Abi Firas al-Hilli, Tanbih al-khawatir wa nuzhat al-nawazir, vol.1, p.131.
If you want to be among God's friends and chosen ones, be kind to the one who does you wrong, and forgive the one who has done you an injustice, and greet the one who turns his face from you.
Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.503.
Whoever knows and brings what he knows into practice and teaches others, is considered a magnificent person in Allah's regard.
Warram b. Abi Firas al-Hilli, Tanbih al-khawatir wa nuzhat al-nawazir, vol.1, p.82.
The most wretched among you is the one who is only known by his/her knowledge, not his/her deeds.
Bihar al-Anvar, vol.2, p.52.